Six Ideas to Use to Disagree Agreeably

Companies with engaged employees outperform others by 47% to 202%. Creating an environment of teamwork builds alignment and engagement. A few reasons why engaged employees make a difference: High levels of employee engagement lead to lower turnover rates. It just makes sense to that workplaces with engaged employees will be highly productive. An engaged workplace is one where people want to work be involved because self-interest and organizational interest are closely aligned.

We have all been awed by someone who always seems to know what to say and how to say it in any situation. These people know how to communicate with diplomacy, tact and confidence.

The way in which we communicate can elicit positive or negative emotions. If we communicate aggressively, without respect or sensitivity, defensive or angry emotions can prevent others from hearing the message we are trying to convey. Communicating with diplomacy and tact is an approach that combines strength and sensitivity and keeps negative emotions at bay.

Six Ideas to Use When Disagreeing Agreeably

• Give others the benefit of the doubt.
  Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization isn’t really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him overreact.
• Listen
  After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why this person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we’ve heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective. 
• Take Responsibility
  When disagreeing with someone, always take responsibility for our own feelings. Make a commitment to respond using “I” statements only. When we begin with “you” we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.
• Use a cushion.
  Connect or “cushion” a different opinion, starting with “I hear what you’re saying….” Or “I appreciate your view on…..” Again, begin with the word “I” and not “You said…” or it will sound confrontational.
• Eliminate the word “but” or “however” from our vocabulary.
  Once we have cushioned the other person’s opinion, use “and,” or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledge the individual’s point of view followed by a “but” or “however” erases the acknowledgement.
• Use Evidence
  State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula:
            Take time to reflect:
                 What do I think?
                 Why do I think it?
                 What evidence do I have?

                  Then speak:
                       “One example is……”
                       “This shows that…..”
                       “Therefore, I think…..”

Using these six ideas will help to keep the lines of communication open. When we have open communication we are more productive!

What is one of your favorite ways to disagree agreeably? Post your answer so we all have more tools to use.

The Dale Carnegie Course: Skills for Success presents many tools to use when dealing with others, classes are forming now.