The “Whatevers”
These people remain aloof and show little emotion when listening. They give off the impression that they could not care less what you are talking about.
Tips
If you are a “Whatever”, concentrate on the full message, not just the verbal message. Make a point to listen with your eyes, ears, and heart.
If you are speaking to a “Whatever”, dramatize your ideas and ask questions of the person to get his or her involvement.
The “Combatives”
These people are armed and ready for war. They enjoy disagreeing and blaming others.
Tips
If you are a “Combative”, make an effort to put yourself in the speaker’s shoes and understand, accept, and find merit in his or her point of view.
If you are speaking to a “Combative”, when he or she disagrees or points the blame, look forward instead of back. Talk about how you might agree to disagree, or what can be done differently next time.
The “Analysts”
These people are constantly in the role of counselor or therapist and they are ready to provide you with answers even when you have not asked. They think they are great listeners and love to help. They are constantly in an analyze-what-you-are-saying-and-fix-it mode.
Tips
If you are an “Analyst”, relax and understand that not everyone is looking for an answer, solution, or advice. Some people just like bouncing ideas off other to help them see the answers more clearly themselves.
If you are speaking to an “Analyst”, you might begin by saying “I just need to run something by you. I’m not looking for any advice.”
The “Engagers”
These are the consciously aware listeners. They listen with their eyes, ears, and hearts, and try to put themselves in the speaker’s shoes. This is listening at the highest level. Their listening skills encourage you to continue talking and give you the opportunity to discover your own solutions and let your ideas unfold.
Tips
If you are an “Engager” keep it up. People truly appreciate this about you.
If you are speaking to an “Engager” take the time to acknowledge their attentiveness. Thank them for their interest in you and your topic.
****What other ways have we dealt with these listening styles? Post your ideas so we can all have more tools to work with.****
For more ideas to communicate more effectively. Check out
Dale Carnegie's Skills for Success.
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