Seven Principles for Effective Influence

Of the many principles in Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, here are some simple, yet highly effective pointers for leaders who want to build relationships and influence people in global business:


Principle One
• “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Learn how to pronounce people’s names accurately and remember their names, regardless of language difficulties. For example, address them by their real name, not an anglicized nickname. It builds immediate rapport, which is the prerequisite for influence.


Principle Two
• “Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.” Learn certain phrases in the foreign language, such as hello, goodbye, please, thank you, would you be so kind as to …, won’t you please, would you mind.


Principle Three
• “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” Particularly in cultures where saving face is paramount, losing an argument can destroy rapport with the “winner.” “You can’t win an argument,” writes Mr. Carnegie. “You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.” Why? Because the loser will now feel inferior and will resent any further attempts at influence. Regardless of culture, arguments are also futile because “Nine times out of 10, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.”…”You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument; but as far as changing another’s mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong.”


Principle Four
• “Begin in a friendly way” is a timeless principle applicable to any culture, as demonstrated by Aesop, who in one of his immortal fables wrote how the sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind. “Kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world,” writes Dale Carnegie.


Principle Five
• “Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.” Again, this is a timeless, international principle, as demonstrated by the writings of Chinese sage Laotse, 25 centuries ago: “The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams.”


Principle Six
• “Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.” Asking questions makes requests more palatable, stimulates the creativity of people, gives them a feeling of importance, and saves their pride. Say things such as, “Do you think this would work?” or “You might consider this.”


Principle Seven
• “Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.” Here are six specific steps recommended by Dale Carnegie:


1. Be sincere; concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
2. Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.
3. Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants.
4. Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
6. When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.


A leader who is seen as proficient at hearing everyone, creating team synergy, and guiding teams toward the best outcomes is highly respected in an international environment. By earning respect in this way and by being inclusive and using good influence skills, a leader will be heard and followed.


Class Schedule:
July 12 Delegation Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
July 13 How to Cold Call and Build New Customers Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
July 15 Skills for Success Part II Appleton
July 19 Creating and Achieving Breakthrough Goals Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
July 21 Managing Workplace Stress Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
July 28 High Impact Presentations Green Bay


August 1 Cold Calling Seminar Appleton
August 2 Skills for Success Kenosha
August 4 Skills for Success Appleton
August 4 Creating and Achieving Breakthrough Goals Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
August 11 Attracting the Best Talent Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
August 18 Managing Workplace Stress Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
August 25 Managing Conflict in the Workplace Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
August 30 How to Cold Call and Build New Customers Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)
August 30 Skills for Success Oshkosh
August 31 Delegation Webinar (call 877-779-DALE for details)